I’m not just talking about material attachments. I’m talking about everything you identify yourself with. This doesn’t mean that you have to get rid of all your stuff. You can have something while at the same time not being attached to it. In fact, when you are not attached to anything in your life, you can enjoy it even more, because you are not afraid of losing something. You know that nothing lasts forever and you are fine with it.
So what are some attachments you might have? Attachment to your significant other. Attachment to your children. Attachment to your parents. Attachment to your pet. Attachment to your car. Attachment to your house. Attachment to your job. Attachment to money. Attachment to your company. Attachment to certain personality traits you pride yourself with. Attachment to your body. Attachment to the image of yourself you have in your mind. Attachment to your idea of success. Attachment to your beliefs etc. You can really be attached to anything that exists, things, thoughts, feelings.
What to do about it? The answer is always the same. Once your ego dissolves, you don’t identify yourself with anything anymore which means you also don’t get overly attached to anything. Most of the time it doesn’t happen all of a sudden, it happens gradually. And there will be times when you are more aware and less attached and times when you are less aware and more attached. And that’s all fine. Again, not being attached does not necessarily mean not having something. People often confuse this and think in order to be able to be detached you have to completely get rid of it. No no, you don’t have to get rid of anything, what it actually means is that you change your inner attitude towards whatever there is, that you allow it to be or to go without clinging to it.
Here are some of my personal examples:
I’m generally a huge introvert. So choosing solitude over going out and hanging out with people has become quite the norm for me. But sometimes I do feel like going out, hope I run into some cool strangers or discover interesting people I can observe lol. Sometimes I subconsciously get attached to the idea of me being an introvert and hesitate to say “yes” to certain social activities that I think I might actually enjoy. But you know, just because most of the time I like to be alone, doesn’t mean I can never act like an extrovert. You can be whatever and whoever you want at any given moment without being attached to a specific image of yourself that you have in your mind. (Speaking of personalities, if you’re reading this and know your MBTI type (16personalities.com), would you like to tell me? I have noticed a lot of interesting patterns regarding those types and I’m kinda curious :))
Another thing that has been a struggle with attachments for me is blogging. Or putting stuff out there in general. I have the tendency to obsess about certain things and be a perfectionist and sometimes I wish I could just put stuff out there, let it be and forget about it, but nooo. Whenever I think that something I’ve written has become invalid I feel the urge to update it or delete it entirely. I have started and deleted numerous blogs in the past with the mistake of trying to pick one specific topic. But then my interests changed and I wanted to write about something else, but the blog’s address and title did not match what I wanted to write about and I don’t like it when stuff doesn’t fit together lol. That’s why this blog has no specific title or topic nor a specific definition of what it is about. Because I tend to get attached to those definitions and then I subconsciously try to adjust my content, even if it’s actually not what I want to write about in that specific moment. Now, all of this would be no problem if I were just doing it for myself, no one cares how many blogs I start and delete. But when you are at a point where you actually want to reach people and contribute something to this world, you can’t just stay in your own little bubble. So that’s something I’ve been working on lately.
Nevertheless, I don’t want to get too attached and limit myself to anything. It’s kinda funny, while having some obsessive tendencies I also have strong avoidant tendencies. Like whenever I feel like I’m getting too attached to something, I feel the need to completely get rid of it the next moment. This is one more reason why none of my previous blogs have lasted for a very long time. The more views, likes and followers they got the more uncomfortable and pressured I felt to post related stuff. In this regard: I’ve been posting a lot about personal development and enlightenment recently, but I want to remind myself and those who have been reading along that this blog is not limited to any specific topic or language.
Bottom line: Be open to everything and attached to nothing.