I’ve mentioned it before, I have a pretty avoidant personality and like to keep people at a distance. When I see people getting all desperate and sad about losing friends, worrying about what this friend and that family member are going to think when they do this or that, I have a hard time empathizing with them, because I’m just like “What’s the big deal? Just let them be or cut them out of your life if you have to and can”.
I like watching “The Big Bang Theory”. But boy, that show is almost completely based on patheticness, it surely is a very low-conscious concept, but what isn’t in the entertainment industry? Anyway, most of the time the characters are busy worrying about their self-image and how they appear to their friends and family. Apparently, their self-worth depends on whether or not they are in a relationship, how many friends they have or how many people they have slept with. Idk, is that really how people in the USA generally measure their self-worth? It just looks so pathetic to me.
On Valentine’s Day, the characters who don’t have a partner feel particularly sorry for themselves. I’m sorry, it’s just a random day people invented, if that’s enough to make you feel more pathetic than usual, then Idk what to tell you.
The show also shows very well how people like to project their fears and expectations onto other people and give everyone around them hard time, and how people get sucked into it. For example, Amy and Sheldon, who both initially agreed on refraining from any kind of physical contact in their relationship, get into a lot of unnecessary fights later on, because Amy starts to get a little bit more “greedy” at some point. She tries to push Sheldon into doing things that he clearly doesn’t want to do. And whenever he doesn’t live up to her expections, she flips out and gets mad. I’m sorry girl, but don’t tell me you didn’t know what you got yourself into from the beginning. What you’re doing now is just inconsiderate, not taking the other person’s feelings and preferences into consideration at all.
So, since Sheldon cares about Amy, he tries to twist his way through all her outbreaks by lying, inventing cover stories, hiding himself etc. That’s what all characters do in the show, and probably most people in real life too. Lie, so the other person doesn’t get upset while being unhappy themselves.
Why are people making things so complicated? You can like and care for someone without giving up on yourself, your personal values and boundries. If they get mad, that’s their problem not yours. For example, my former partner used to get sulky when I told him I didn’t want to sleep so close together. He misinterpreted it as me not liking him as much, when in fact it had nothing to do with him. I just can’t sleep well in close proximity with other things, that’s also why I never slept with stuffed animals in my bed as a kid, they were just bothering me lol. Anyway, I told him that it had nothing to do with him and that I just wanted to sleep better. But it took him a long time to get over it. You see, if people wouldn’t make everything about themselves, things would be much easier and less complicated.
People come and go, it doesn’t make sense to cling to anyone and then get mad if they don’t act the way you expect them to. I must admit though, it’s probably easier for people who are naturally inclined to prefer solitude over company and less dependent on other people’s approval. But those are all skills that can be developed.
On a side note: I have been referred to as “cold” and “icy” several times before lol. Hmm, maybe that’s why blue is my favorite color. Interesting.